Bold Prediction

The Pittsburgh Pirates will be no-hit TWICE before the end of this season.

11 shots

I realize that the pens actually somehow managed to score a goal near the end of this San Jose debacle, but i can't help but think about how this team's performance reminded me a lot of those last few games Ed Olczyk ever coached....just sayin....

BACK FROM THE DEAD

Well well well, we're back and no one cares cause no one reads this blog. But, if you do read this blog (doubtful) and you were wondering where all of the great posts have gone,(more doubtful) I'll catch you up. For the past three weeks I've been in God's country. That's right, Prince Edward Island. Pursuing my life-long dream of playing in the QMJHL. It was a long three weeks of training with the P.E.I. Rocket. Most of my time was spent on the ice, learning how to skate. I picked it up pretty quickly, and by the 8th day I could skate in a straight line for about 15 feet. It was, to put it mildly, fucking rad. Next up I had to focus on my deking. To do this, I spent twenty-four straight hours playing NHL 94 on Sega. I was the Jets, of course, and my plan was to just skate around with Teemu Selanne and possess the puck while making the sickest dekes that NHL 94 will allow. Just playing game after game, practicing deke after deke, and taking very concise notes. Studying the game in its purest form. The next morning I hit the ice full of enthusiasm, but my dreams were quickly crushed. Not one of the dekes that Sega and Teemu taught me seemed to work. Not left, right, left, right. Nor right, left, right, left. Not the wrap around. Hell, not even the always trusty skate right at the goalpost and run into it without shooting the puck. I was devastated, and my dream of wearing the PEI Rocket sweater this year came to an end. Coach took me in his office, told me I had more heart than the 89 Flames, but "zero fucking talent", "not to mention you can't skate for shit." What an asshole. Go Acadie-Bathurst Titan!

You see, Here at Sports Is My Girlfriend, we pursue our dreams. We have better things to do than write about every fucking Steelers game. We're role models, we're out there giving it our all 110% of the time. But, since my dreams are now crushed, I guess it's back to writing about the Steelers. Thank Ditka hockey season has started! Go pens.
Hercules Rockafeller may or may not be back in the recent future. He too is pursing his dream (role model) (heart of a champion). For two weeks he's been deep in the Azores training to become a professional submarine racer. Godspeed!

POWERBAIT

Best Predator Blog (Nashville or not Nashville related) on the net(Expendable Asset)

Faith in Tomlin(Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies)

Awesome sports nerd database shit SQL Wizard

EXPAND YOUR FUCKING HORIZONS

Random Penguins Preview 1A

Brooks Orpik needs to be the new alternate captain on this team. If he plays with half the intensity he did during "the shift" he will easily be the most intense player in the league. The Civic arena glass will need replaced once a game with all the fans rushing down to pound on it. Jeff "Mr Hockey" Taffe needs to make this team, he showed a lot in a limited role last season and would make a great center on the 4th line being flanked by Pesonen and Kennedy. Shit, thats a goddamn 1st line on the Islanders or Leafs. Id like to give a better preseason report, but FSN Pittsburgh finally got their act together and started showing Shippensburg University football game reruns, and naturally, that supercedes hockey. Lucky for Potash and the boys down at FSN, Gary Roberts no longer resides within striking distance of their north shore studios, because rest assured, if he did, those ass clowns would be drowning in pools of their own blood if they even considered not showing a pens game.

"SOFF"

The Steelers offensive line is "soffer" than the pens 03' PK unit. Kendall Simmons is not good. Willie Colon is maybe the worst pass protecting tackle in the league. The smaller faster defensive line of the Eagles made the O-line look stupid. Ben went down more times than the Pens Patrol girls went down on Bugsy last year. Aside from the pitiful performance, that game was boring. I thought the Browns game reached the pinnacle of boring football, but yesterdays game proved me wrong. Nothing was working for the running game, and Ben didn't seem to be able to make any of his 'hot' reads to counter the always blitzing Eagles defense.

The Steelers secondary plays "soffer" than Peter Sykora. They're constantly playing a very loose cover three hoping that the quarterback is pressured into making a bad throw. It's not a personnel issue, it's a play calling issue. I understand the scheme and logic behind playing it. But, when you're not getting pressure on the QB, you can get picked apart. Now, the "soff" scheming is certainly not the reason why they lost the game to the Eagles. It is, however, the reason that this team isn't going to win a playoff game. Mcnabb didn't have a huge game, but he did seem to just sit back and make all the throws he had to. On the bright side, Bryant McFadden has played great in the wake of DeShea being out the last two weeks. Polamalu, I'll be the first to admit, has played phenomenally. Ike Taylor has the speed and agility to be a true cover corner that I think could thrive in a more man coverage oriented scheme. I guess we'll have to wait until grandpa Lebeau retires to see if a different defensive scheme would show the true coverage ability of some of these players. The Steelers are not as bad as they played yesterday, but they're also not as good as they played against Houston. The Eagles gave every other team the Steelers play this year a blueprint on how to beat them; Blitz everyone. Good thing this division is a joke.

2-0

It was pretty tough making it through that whole Steeler game last night. Luckily Tru-TV was airing some pretty sweet episodes of "Most Shocking" and "Most Daring". These shows are really TV at its finest, awesome car wrecks, criminals getting busted and people getting hit by cars. The slop fest Sunday night really didn't have as much action, but the Steelers picked up a solid division win. During the parts of the game I watched intently (mostly while forensic files was on Tru-TV) Its pretty obvious that Holmes and Roethlisberger are both upper eschilon players at their positions. Its also apparent that someone who knows how to catch be put on these special teams units. That botched kickoff was more embarassing than a middle school slow-dance boner. The defense showed up too, Troy Polamalu played one of his better games getting a pick and flying around like a lunatic even though sometimes he was nowhere near the ball. Penguins preview shit starts this week, as does training camp. Party on.