Well well well, we're back and no one cares cause no one reads this blog. But, if you do read this blog (doubtful) and you were wondering where all of the great posts have gone,(more doubtful) I'll catch you up. For the past three weeks I've been in God's country. That's right, Prince Edward Island. Pursuing my life-long dream of playing in the QMJHL. It was a long three weeks of training with the P.E.I. Rocket. Most of my time was spent on the ice, learning how to skate. I picked it up pretty quickly, and by the 8th day I could skate in a straight line for about 15 feet. It was, to put it mildly, fucking rad. Next up I had to focus on my deking. To do this, I spent twenty-four straight hours playing NHL 94 on Sega. I was the Jets, of course, and my plan was to just skate around with Teemu Selanne and possess the puck while making the sickest dekes that NHL 94 will allow. Just playing game after game, practicing deke after deke, and taking very concise notes. Studying the game in its purest form. The next morning I hit the ice full of enthusiasm, but my dreams were quickly crushed. Not one of the dekes that Sega and Teemu taught me seemed to work. Not left, right, left, right. Nor right, left, right, left. Not the wrap around. Hell, not even the always trusty skate right at the goalpost and run into it without shooting the puck. I was devastated, and my dream of wearing the PEI Rocket sweater this year came to an end. Coach took me in his office, told me I had more heart than the 89 Flames, but "zero fucking talent", "not to mention you can't skate for shit." What an asshole. Go Acadie-Bathurst Titan!
You see, Here at Sports Is My Girlfriend, we pursue our dreams. We have better things to do than write about every fucking Steelers game. We're role models, we're out there giving it our all 110% of the time. But, since my dreams are now crushed, I guess it's back to writing about the Steelers. Thank Ditka hockey season has started! Go pens.
Hercules Rockafeller may or may not be back in the recent future. He too is pursing his dream (role model) (heart of a champion). For two weeks he's been deep in the Azores training to become a professional submarine racer. Godspeed!